Today can be summed up in one word: frustrating. I have had a pretty frustrating day. I have felt overworked and underpaid and unappreciated pretty much all day...all the way through cleaning up from dinner tonight at 9:00 at night when all of the kids were sound asleep in their beds. My work is never done, really.
Being a mom is really rewarding. I think it's the best job on Earth. But that doesn't mean there aren't days when I wonder if I am really making a difference here...and if THEY think I am making a difference.
I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love what I do and what it stands for. But that doesn't mean that there aren't days when I wonder if I am in the right place...and if what I am fighting for is really working...and if it's making a difference...and if it's time to move on.
It's just really been one of those days.
I can combat these feelings easier than if it was the first time I have ever felt them....because it's not. I know it's just a day. And tomorrow is a new one. A fresh opportunity for seeing good.
Last Friday I gave a pep talk to someone who really needed it. I believed everything I told him because I had been there too and what I said came from a place of understanding and empathy and experience. This morning he came to me and told me that he had thought about what I said all weekend and that same message kept cropping up different places he went all weekend. That tells me they weren't my words...they were His.
Later in the day today someone else asked me why I thought she constantly felt anxiety about something she feared would happen. I answered her from a place in my heart that knew...because I have been where she is and I knew how she was feeling...and I know what the answer is...even though I don't always take my own advice. Don't borrow trouble until it is due. We don't know what is going to happen...so why worry about something if we aren't even sure it will get to the point where we need to concern ourselves with it? Let go and let God take care of it. She told me that was exactly what she needed to hear...and I think she even said something about it being Jesus. And she is right. The only reason I even knew what to say is because He has brought me through those types of feelings so many times. They were His words that came from experiences He has brought me through.
So today...in the midst of all the frustration...and even sadness...I am thankful and feel blessed that God can still use me in spite of myself. No matter what I think of myself, or what I think others think of me....there is still room for God to move...and He can still use me regardless.
Thank You, Lord.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Surprise me, God.
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