The Last Thing I Wanna Do.....

There are some people in all of our lives who have hurt us.  Physically, emotionally, verbally.  Left scars on our bodies or scars on our hearts....sometimes both.  Hurtful words, hurtful actions, broken bones, broken spirits. 

What if?????

What if we have done that to someone else?  What if someone else sees us as that person? 

There are some people who have done horrible things to me and I have been able to supernaturally forgive because God has answered my prayers to be able to do that.  It's not through any great act on my part.  But there are some people who have hurt me for whom I have no tolerance.  I see them, or even just hear their name or their voice, and these feelings of anxiety or anger well up inside me.  And because they have hurt me....and people know they have...I feel a sense of entitlement to mumble under my breath about what losers they are or how hurtful or untruthful or clueless they are!  I am sitting here just about laughing at how absolutely childish that sounds!!!  And it's hard to admit....but I have been struggling with that with a few different people concerning different circumstances over the last few months...and even years.  The last thing I have felt like doing is forgiving them or extending grace to them.  I try to do it sometimes out of guilt, but it never lasts because my heart isn't sold on the idea.  Something I read has been echoing in my head the last couple of days:  "True faith is loving a person after he has hurt you.  True love makes you stand out."  And sometimes I don't stand out.  Ouch.  It reminded me also of the Scripture that says if we love and do good to those who are good to us, what does that prove?  Everyone can do that.  We are called to love those who avoid us or who we avoid....our enemies....as well as those we find it easy to love.  This could probably even go a little further to cover those we are "uncomfortable" loving.  The homeless, people who exploit themselves or others for gain, those in prison.....

When I think about it, the last thing I wanna do as a Christian is to portray what I stand for in a negative light.  Christ was all about love.  As His follower, I am to exude the same love.  To everyone.  Not just pick and choose who I think is worthy of it.  We are all unworthy of it.  That's the point!!!  There is grace that covers all of us and all of the mistakes we make...if we allow for it.  Well.......if we are all created equal in the eyes of God, then we are all equally as forgiven.  And equally as responsible to forgive.  And more than free the other person (who most times has moved on and probably has no idea we dwell on these things), forgiveness will free us.  Unforgiveness and bitterness and judgmental thoughts and actions do nothing but eat away at us.  We are the ones that are hurting ourselves.  I'm tired of hurting myself....and hurting others by holding onto things that need to be let go.  Time to step up the game. 

I pray today that if anything I have written about has moved you in some way, that you would think about or pray about how to make some changes.  I promise it can lead to only good things.  Have a blessed day!