Empty Me...

The office is getting harder and harder to go to every day.  Such negativity.  Oppression.  A friend and I from years ago used to call this kind of thing "The Black Cloud."  It's so thick some days you could cut it with a knife.  Even the people in the office who aren't believers have been mentioning they think there's something evil hovering over that place.  I have never worked in a place where chaos reigned like it does here.  Drama.  Deception.  Things have been spiraling out of control.  I don't like to feel out of control.  And there isn't really anything that I have tried to do that has stopped it. 

Time to take a step back.  If I try to do things through my own power....it's not really power at all.  I'm just an ordinary girl.  I need to rely on His power in me.  I just wish He would deliver when I want Him to....but then I would be in control...and not have to trust and have faith and lean on anyone other than myself.  **sigh**

There's a song by Jeremy Camp that goes something like this....

"Holy fire...burn away...my desire...for anything

That is not of You....and is of me

I want more of You...and less of me

Empty me

Empty me

And fill, won't You fill me

With You

With You"

I love that song.  And today I have been thinking again of that alabaster box.  And the pouring out.  The empying of self.  Even those of us who are not believers can relate to being so totally tired of self.  So ready for a change.  Wanting to feel that void filled up with something good.  Today I have reached that point.  I am so tired of trying on my own to battle this stuff.  This junk.  I think I'm walking into that building ready...covered in prayer and with a positive attitude...but it doesn't take much to shatter all of that.  Cuz it's just me trying.

I'm movin on to try somethin else.  Emptying of self.  And filling with love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  The fruits of the Spirit.  Someone gave me some good advice tonight....to live in the Spirit.  I can't do that when I'm hangin on to me. 

Empty me, God.....