Pride Away

God has been trying to get my attention.

Last Tuesday, my supervisor and a co-worker talked to me about giving up some consumers on my caseload because I have been overwhelmed with the amount of time I have needed to spend on several of the larger cases I have.  They encouraged me, and I said I would think about it.

Last Friday, my brother and sister-in-law sent me an email asking for prayer for something they were needing help with...and made it clear they usually don't ask for prayer for themselves because they just don't think about it. I can relate.


Somewhere in between there, my supervisor came to me and told me I don't have to always try to be so independent.  Just because I FEEL like I should be able to handle it all and FEEL that if I don't I'm not doing my job...that doesn't mean that's the truth.  I can ask for help.  I have a team who is willing to help me just as I have helped them when they were overwhelmed or needed encouragement. 

Saturday, I got a call from the owner of the dog we bred Goldie with last Spring.  She and I made a friendship connection that went beyond business and have kept in touch over the last year.  It seems like God uses her to reach out to me when I need it most.  So she called me...and asked me how I was doing...and I told her fine.  She told me she knew I was hurting and that God wanted her to call me to encourage me.  I just sat there, speechless, and listened.  I haven't spoken to her in a couple of months.  She doesn't really know anything about what's been going on in my life.  She told me that I need to pray more, and that Satan is trying to discourage me....that God has a plan for me...and He wants me to talk to Him more and tell Him what I want, what I need, ask Him questions....just pray more, bottom line. 

I thought about it after I hung up.  I really don't pray as much as I should.  I pray for others and I talk a lot to God...often times it's something quick like, "God give me strength" or singing to Him or just saying Jesus' name when I am overwhelmed.  But I analyze things....myself....others.  I figure things out.  I'm a fixer and a thinker.  I will come at something from every angle and figure out what the best way to approach something/someone is and what will be best and then I just do it.  The problem is...I make a lot of mistakes.  Because I do things my way.  I don't consult Him a lot of times, and when I do, I don't wait for His answer because I feel like I have to get it done.

And with people, I don't ask for help because I am self-sufficient....independent...and like to help others so I take on more than I should.  I don't want to be a burden to others and ask for help....and I don't want it to appear that I don't have it all together or that I can't handle my life or job or whatever it is that is overwhelming me. 

PRIDE.  It all boils down to pride.  And I HATE that.  Because I think of myself as a humble person!  And when I see pride (in a negative sense) in others, it turns me off.  So here I am with a pride problem.  Wow.  God opened my eyes to see some things I need to work on.  I am going to pray more....and open up to Him more...and ask Him for help more...and do my best to WAIT for His timing.  And I will do my very best to ask for help from others when I need it.  That sounds SO HARD!!!!  But I know with Him all things are possible..........:)

I know everyone struggles with different things....but if I can help one person who is going through something similar, it will all be worth it.  Maybe you don't pray as often as you should.  Maybe you don't feel like you deserve anything....or that there is no God...or maybe you're angry with Him.  If you don't ask for help from others it could be that you think you can do it better than anyone else....or quicker....and you don't want to waste your time asking....even when you feel like you just can't take on another task.  I think the whole point is....that we need to ask.  Jesus said to ask and we shall receive......that we have not because we ask not.  Anything He is going to give me is worth having......including help! :).......and HE says I am worth it.....that we are ALL worth it....so I know we are.

Have a blessed day :)