Find the Balance

Three weeks ago at church, we finished up a two part series on The Essence of Fellowship.  My pastor always has an outline and we can choose to follow along and fill in the blanks or just listen.  I'm a note taker....because you never know when you might need some encouragement or wisdom or just some quiet time with God and this stuff comes in handy.  So....I will admit, I have these church outlines all over the house from various weeks...just in case I need them.  Does that make me a hoarder?  :)  Anyway....sometimes something strikes me that isn't on the outline and I jot it down in the margin.  This was one of those weeks.  I drew a little diagram and words to go with it.  Because something my pastor said, that wasn't even really part of the message, spoke to me.  It spoke to me because I saw myself in those words.  And I saw room for growth on my part.  Growth through something that has been a character flaw of mine for years...ever since I can remember.  I call it a character flaw, because for me it is.  I am not judging anyone else who is the same way.  This may work for some people.  It doesn't work for me.  But it's how I am and I want so badly to change.  And I try.  And I have made progress.  Progress like a turtle.  Hah!  But....progress is progress and I just have to focus on that and keep pushing myself to change...a little bit at a time.

So...the comment went something like this:  

"There are people who really want to be seen and heard. And there are people who don't want to be seen or heard at all.  God's will for us is to be somewhere in between those two extremes."   

We probably all know someone who wants to always be seen and heard.  They are the life of the party, the class clown, the attention seeker of the group....there's usually one in every bunch!  They are usually very charismatic, very funny, loud and boisterous, sometimes obnoxious, and they get their energy from being around others.  Sometimes people are annoyed by this type of personality, but quite honestly I envy them at times...because I am so not like that and I want just a little piece of what they have that allows them to cut loose!  

Those of you who know me well know at which end of the spectrum I fall.  I am sometimes painfully shy and backward and I feel awkward so often because I am not like other people.  Unless I know you well and you know me well, I am just to myself and barely make eye contact.  People think I am mean or mad or some other kind of negative thing...because I don't talk, I don't smile, I don't look up and I just try to blend in.  I am almost embarrassed to type these words!  It sounds horrible!  I feel like saying, "I can't help it," but I can.  I have proven that to myself.  For years I have vowed to push myself out of my little bubble and speak up, smile more, be bolder, be braver, be more outgoing, be more friendly.  Like I said earlier, progress is sllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww....but it is progress.  And that is my focus.  Baby steps.  One foot in front of the other.

So.....if being seen and heard all the time is not what God wants, why is that???  I think it's because He wants us to be slow to speak and quick to hear.  To listen.  To be "other focused."  We can't truly be other focused when we are always the center of attention.  

And....if NOT wanting to be seen and heard at all is not what God wants either, why is that???  I think because we shut others out.  We block the blessing that they could be to us and that we could be to them.  God gifted each of us with certain things, and those gifts are not meant for us to keep to ourselves.  They are meant to share.  If I keep to myself, whatever He has gifted me with is laying dormant or I am being selfish with it....and it doesn't work that way.  

We have to be somewhere in the middle.  We need to find a happy medium.  And because that's what God wants from us, that balance will be a happy place.  It's middle of the road.  Not too flashy, not too wallflower-ish.  :)  It's just right.  Humble, but open.  

....humble but open....

That just really speaks to me.  Humility is so very important to me.  My parents both taught me humility by example.  It's a wonderful trait.  Openness is also something they taught me.  Making yourself available.  

We can have both.  We should have both.  It is possible.

Find the balance.

Peace to you, my friends.