When the kids were still really little, I wrote a song for them....kind of a lullaby. I would sing it whenever they needed comfort....if they were sick or sad or anxious...and I would rock them as I sang it to them. I still do this...and they just hold onto me and let me. Even though they aren't little anymore, they still respond to it. It calms them like no "Shhhhhhhhh....." or "It's okay....." can. The song is so simple. The main theme is...Be still and know that I am God....
Powerful words.
I've seen the power in them.
Two weeks ago I had the worst week I can remember having in a very long time. One thing after another after another after another shook my world. Every day it was something new. And not just little things. Gut wrenching, rip your heart out things. By the time the weekend rolled around, I literally felt like my spirit had been crushed and broken. I don't know how to explain it better. I tried to numb the pain, tried to push it aside, tried to talk through it, cry it out, write about it, pray about it, tried to listen to uplifting music in hopes it would encourage my heart and lift my spirits. None of that worked. I realized nothing was working one day while I was in the car by myself....just driving. I turned off the radio. Silence. It's foreign to me. I always have to have some kind of noise...even if it's just the background noise of the fan while I drift off to sleep. So I sat in the silence and it was uncomfortable for me. But as I was trying to just be quiet, I realized the peace that was in that. And those words came back to me. I started singing that lullaby and really feeling the words. I sat there in silence some more. Be still and know that I am God. I'm not God. But I trust Him to be. I don't know the future and I don't have any control over the past or the present. But He does. And all His plans end in good for me. One of my best friends gave me something I have on my desk at work that says, "God makes happy endings. So if it's not happy, it's not the end." This wasn't the end. Did it hurt? Yes. Am I still hurting? Yes....but every day the pain is less...because I am aware of His presence and I'm just practicing being still....and just knowing that He is God. He's in control. Kind of freeing. Instead of struggling against the current....I can just sit back, be still, and trust.
This season is not easy for so many that I love....and many more that I don't even know. Someone's parent has passed away and this is their first Christmas without them....or they have gotten divorced and this is the first time they have to share time with their children during the holidays....or they are getting sad because it's colder and darker every day....or this is just one more year they are by themselves for the holidays while everyone else enjoys family....add your own in there...
We all have hard days...weeks....years. But everything changes. It may take more time than you would like....but things will get better. Hang in there. And hang on to the peace that comes when you just sit quietly and still your mind....and know that there is Someone who loves you more than you can ever imagine. And He has given you permission to sit back and watch while He takes care of everything. Stop struggling and just let Him. Be still and know that He will.....
Amen.
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